On accepting both the unexpected and the expected

Thursday's Thousandth Thought #6

Someone relaxing in a forest around Seoul, probably thinking about what they expected and didn’t expect.

I love a well-oiled routine.

Having restrictions for parts of my day makes me feel incredibly free for the rest. And I even end up liking the restrictions themselves.

That’s what my last year in Japan was like. I had a set of tasks for my mornings, another for commuting, another for breaks, and so on. My mental workload was reduced to basic things I didn’t mind thinking about¹.

Since I left Japan, I’ve struggled to set a good routine. I’ve blamed myself. I’ve blamed the people around me. I’ve blamed every possible thing I could. And I forgot to ask the right question:

What matters most to me right now?

The truth is that I felt I needed a routine because it’s worked for me in the past but it doesn’t mean that’s what I need now. Also, my life seems to insist on not letting me set one.

And so, I’ve had periods during which I studied my languages a lot and others I didn’t. I’ll let you judge which one I’m in after you’re done reading this week’s ramblings!