Thursday's Thousandth Thought #1
Honest ramblings about current doubts about languages and life.
I've had a call with a bunch of amazing writer friends every Friday afternoon since February. It's been a highlight of every week ever since we started chatting. I've learned from them countless times. They've inspired me and my pieces over and over.
And this is the result of one of our recent calls.
I arrived late to the call but Natasha, from Theory Gang, explained they were talking about finding one's voice in writing because she had realized she felt there was no real place for her to share her worries and doubts.
Arriving late, I chose to stay silent for a while, until I could catch up and have a better idea of where the conversation was going. The conversation evolved as Natasha explained her new series Friday Feelings where she’d shared more personal reflections.
While I was listening, a voice in the back of my head asked me over and over
"What about you? Is there any place for you to vent and share deeper thoughts?"
I've always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy. I'm an open book to most of my friends when talking one-on-one but I rarely share my feelings—and especially worries—when there's more than one person that's listening (even if I've had countless drinks before, my lips stay sealed).
Writing online for over three years has shown me I can share with people my stronger emotions (doubts, sadness, anger, and so on), but I've always written them with one purpose in mind: helping others.
In a way, I now realize this limited how honest I was.
Sometimes, anger is just anger. Sometimes worries are just the reappearance of something you buried inside in the past, something that most people may not really recognize themselves in.
I've spent the past year enjoying reading more and more personal pieces where the author laid themselves bare.
One example that comes to mind is the publication BrazenFace by Tatiana Gallardo. In it, the author shares her tribulations with trying new things. She makes us recognize ourselves even when she talks about situations we may have never thought of, such as posing nude.
My thing is languages so this is not the way I plan on going.1
But I do think sharing who I am in a more transparent way as if we were having a beer in a corner of a bar, surrounded by people who couldn't speak our language.
Still, let's not forget this is the internet.
People judge easily and things get taken out of context on a whim. I want to avoid this as much as possible which is why I'm starting this new series as an extra bonus for my dear paid supporters.
Let me be clear though. I'm not saying you will “learn” anything from these pieces.
Some will be ramblings about many topics on my mind. Some will be long pieces on specific topics that have been bothering/exciting me. But I may also share some resources or words I loved discovering.
For instance, I discovered the word 자폐증 ("autism") recently and I'm happy about it because it may open the door to more videos about that topic. I'm already enjoying 加登伶's videos about it in Japanese so why not find a Korean version of her?2
The goal of this series3 is to serve as a reminder none of us is alone. I hope you’ll recognize yourself in some parts.
Well, in any case, here we go.