Progress Doesn't Erase Frustration

A reminder we all need.

If you’re waiting for that “aha!” moment where everything clicks. You might wait forever.

I keep getting reminded of this simple fact.

Earlier this summer, I was reading Korean at a rhythm of about 3 minutes per page. That included looking up words in the dictionary. Today, I read 15 pages in one hour on the train. Without a dictionary.

It felt slow and was exhausted by the end. It was as if my level had plummeted. How could I be so slow? I thought. And on a topic I know well! A book about writing.

Whenever I think I’ve got the language down, a slap in the face reminds me I don’t. Every time I think I can’t improve, an experience occurs to remind me I’m better than before.

Today’s a low day, but it just means I’ll be even happier the next time I read faster.

Hell, reading a Korean book without a dictionary is already a success in itself.

Language learning is supposed to be slow

The articles and videos about language learning that grab attention the most are the ones with people claiming they got fluent in X days or months. That’s either a lie built for fame or a hallucination by people who don’t realize the passive work they’ve done before.

We live in a culture where quick success is put on a pedestal.

Languages don’t care about fast. They care about steady.

I’ve always been a bit jealous of the likes of Benny Lewis of Fluent in Three Months. Not for their efficacy, but their ability to be comfortable looking stupid having conversations with just a few words in a new language. There’s no doubt they can improve quickly.

It's also the result of countless years of trials and errors. Connections made in Benny's head after learning many languages to various levels. Subconsciously, he's connecting dots only he's made. What he does can be copied. The results can't.

Do I mean nobody else can get some results through a talk-first approach? Not at all. Many others have done it, connecting their own dots to reach a different level.

That kind of success, however, is short-lived.

It's a beginner-only perk.

If you're learning a language to reach an intermediate or advanced level, that improvement will vanish in thin air. Our success is not a straight line.In language learning, a difference is needed between the progress we see and the one we make.

The one we make can be seen in the below well-known graph. The one we see follows a different curve, the red that I’ve added. Even if it matters less, that's often the one we focus on.

Quick progress doesn't exist. It drags on and progress shows its face once in a while as a reminder there's a point to all that hard work.

Highs and lows of the reminders

I'll never forget the first time I got truly angry in Japanese. I was trying to change flats in Tokyo and a realtor suddenly called out to say the owner of the flat we had chosen had requested double the amount of key money (basically a deposit you never get back, that you have to pay on top of the actual deposit) because me and my soon-to-be flatmate were foreigners.

I was on the phone in a closet at my office and began retelling him our previous conversations, what we had agreed on, and how crazy this was since I was working at the French Embassy and my friend was the only foreign employee in one of the largest housing construction companies in Japan. Both of us spoke Japanese well. If that wasn't enough, what would?

I realized when I hung up what I had just done. Angry yet polite, to the point yet roundabout enough for Japan, I stayed clear but made sure he understood I wasn't going to accept this.

I was even prouder than when I passed the JLPT N1, the highest level of proficiency.

Similarly, I'll never forget my first steps in Korea in 2010 when I got lost and requested help from multiple people in Korean. Or my first message conversation completely in Mandarin after I studied it hard for half a year to complete a challenge made to an ex.

Then, I also remember times like earlier today's slow reading time. Or how lost I felt when my Korean friend came to visit and I had to repeat over and over "뭐라고?" (What did you say?). Or when someone I met heard I could speak Chinese and switched to it, leaving me in the ditch because my brain was not ready.

Language improvement is slow. Sometimes a peak jumps at you. Sometimes a drop slaps you in the face.

Wanting to see constant progress means waiting to be disappointed.

There's no "aha!" moment. No "I did it." No "I'm done now."

The more you learn, the more you improve. And the more you discover how little you know.

Frustrating at times, but that's part of the process. Every learner needs to adapt and get used to this or they won't last.

What about you? How did you do it? Are you used to it? Have you had a recent and/or impressive high or low you'd like to share?

Let me know!

Cheers for reading,
Mathias